broken and beautiful

Banksy

Banksy

“Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul
And sings the tune without the words
And never stops at all.”
— Emily Dickinson

broken…
stuck…
weak…
alone…
exhausted…
burdensome…
lost…
paralyzed…
without hope.

ever been there?
even for a moment?

now, imagine living there…day after day after day.
sure, on the outside – where everyone can see –
you are
put together
moveable
strong…

but on the inside…
on the inside, it’s
dark…
dank…
isolating…
heavy…
suffocating.

hope has an astonishing resilience and strength. – Kathleen Norris

tragedy struck close…too close…to home this week.

I am finishing my Master’s Degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling.
I intern at Malone University.
to pay my bills, I work at the University of Mount Union.

my worlds collided this week…
while at work, I received word that a beautiful young woman had died on the campus of the University of Mount Union.
my heart immediately broke.

you are not weak just because your heart feels heavy. – Andrea Gibson

the helper in me went into overdrive…
as I found out more details (official and unofficial) I knew that I needed to do something…
to reaffirm in those students that I see e-v-e-r-y-d-a-y that they are important
that they matter.

I don’t say these words to give myself any recognition…
I had ‘forgotten’ a vital piece of whom I am.
of who we all are.
we are made for connection.

texts…
emails…
Facebook messages…
all to check in – to make sure that each one was ok.

“We are all wonderful, beautiful wrecks. That’s what connects us–that we’re all broken, all beautifully imperfect.”
— Emilio Estevez

to face tragedy…
to ask the same unanswerable questions…
to be left not understanding…
to be broken alongside…
to grieve…
to hurt…
to share being real.

“Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It’s a relationship between equals. Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others. Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity.” – Pema Chodron

to be a bearer of hope
in a situation seemingly void of it.
to stand in the gap…
even with the questions and the lack of words and the confusion.
to crawl down in the hole
look someone in the eye
and ask the tough questions.
to just simply offer a hug.
to provide space for conversation.

 

be present and available.

embrace the broken and beautiful.

leaning into grace…

What a mystery that You notice me – Amanda Cook, You Don’t Miss a Thing

 

 

earlier bits

October 2015
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