as time goes by

as time goes by“But there is something about Time. The sun rises and sets. The stars swing slowly across the sky and fade. Clouds fill with rain and snow, empty themselves, and fill again. The moon is born, and dies, and is reborn. Around millions of clocks swing hour hands, and minute hands, and second hands. Around goes the continual circle of the notes of the scale. Around goes the circle of night and day, the circle of weeks forever revolving, and of months, and of years.”
— Madeleine L’Engle

i wonder if it seems like 730 days to her…
i wonder if time stands still when you are in the presence of God…
i wonder if she witnessed the birth of her great grandchild…
i wonder if…

2 years seems like a long time…
2 years…
she’s been gone for 2 years.
but i remember it like it was yesterday –
the weeks and months leading up
the moments before
the final breath.

as time goes on…
life goes on.
new life.
new beginnings.
heartaches.
triumphs.
those “finally” moments.
the ordinary, day-to-day happenings…
everything continues.

“Grief does not change you…it reveals you.”  – John Green

as time goes on…
exploring
investigating
searching
learning
becoming…

as i sit here writing this, i wonder why it took grief in my own life to begin the process of revealing who i am…
as i sit here writing this, i am torn – missing my mom and at the same time thankful that her passing was the catalyst for me pursuing what i am convinced i was made to do…
at that thought, i just let out a sigh.

time goes on.

“If you haven’t already, you will lose someone you can’t live without, and your heart will be badly broken, and you never completely get over the loss of a deeply beloved person. But this is also good news. The person lives forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through, and you learn to dance with the banged-up heart.”                 – Anne Lamott

as time goes by…
mended by grace…

 

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earlier bits

February 2015
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