knockin’ on heaven’s door

Betty and Kai Leeann


today marks Day 14 that my aunt Betty has been in the hospital.

she has spent the past 2 years in a nursing facility suffering with dementia
but there is something
unknown to everyone at this time
that is shutting her down

fourteen days of decline
fourteen days of exhaustion
fourteen days of just watching her sleep
fourteen days of wondering ‘is this the day?’

of course I remember Betty…much like in this picture
full of life
on the go
a great cookie baker

and now I see Betty…
not knowing where she is or who we are

asking me to put her shoes on
telling me I am valuable
saying she feels safe
saying she’s ready to go…

afraid at times
not really eating
and all the while
still singing in her sleep…

“though none go with me, still I will follow”
“and He walks with me, and He talks with me…”
“glory, glory hallelujah”
“praise ye the Lord, hallelujah”

oh, the conversations she must have when no one can see
talking with God
chatting it up with her mom and dad
visiting with aunts and uncles
her brother
her sister Esther
and my mom, her sister…

the reality is that she is moving on to better
a sound mind
a healthy body
surrounded by love

the day is near…
the time is fleeting…

it’s time to go home.

go in grace…

blurb is the word


well…who would have ever thunk it?
I have compiled a selection of blogs into an actual book!!

perhaps it is the first of many…
perhaps it is a once-in-a-lifetime publication…

bit by bit…
exploring the intricacies of the journey in grace

through the genius of Blurb publishing, the publication was possible

Courage for the impossible can only be found in the possibility of humility.

Because “This is the one God esteems: he who is humble…” (Is. 66:2). Courage lives in the heart of the lowly… those who can embrace humility and the possibility of imperfection … because that needy place is the place we meet God.

But there is something I’m looking for:
    a person simple and plain,
    reverently responsive to what I say. – Isaiah 66:2 (MSG)

to risk
the imperfection
to dream
the impossible dream
to dare
greatly and with apprehension
to be vulnerable
to the point of being scared
to be brave
in the face of all of the above
to be courageous…
and still in so much need of grace.

 Today I am who I am because of God’s grace, and I have made sure that the grace He offered me has not been wasted. I have worked harder, longer, and smarter than all the rest; but I realize it is not me—it is God’s grace with me that has made the difference. – 1 Corinthians 15:10 (the Voice)


earlier bits

July 2014