when awesome is spelled b-r-a-v-e


to be free to write our own story…follow our hearts… and find love in our own time – Merida

do you know those folks who are
courageous…in the face of daunting circumstances
fearless…in the face of adversity
bold…in the midst of uncertainty

I do.

in the coming years and decades, I suspect I will meet more folks
whose strengths are in
their coping strategies…the things that have allowed them to survive.

but, in the last thirty weeks, I have had the extreme privilege and opportunity to get to know and grow to love some pretty
awesome – spelled b-r-a-v-e

“You can’t be brave if you’ve only had wonderful things happen to you.”
Mary Tyler Moore

I want to be like a lot of them when I grow up.

to face adversity…
clothed in grace and splendor

to champion for the sanctity of others

to be an

to demonstrate

“We could never learn to be brave and patient if there were only joy in the world”
Helen Keller

to love God

to have the courage to be who I am created to be.

“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”
Brené Brown

to be vulnerable

“If we are going to find our way out of shame and back to each other, vulnerability is the path and courage is the light. To set down those lists of *what we’re supposed to be* is brave. To love ourselves and support each other in the process of becoming real is perhaps the greatest single act of daring greatly.” — Brené Brown

and open
and real

“Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn’t change the truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging.”
Brené Brown (The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are)

and genuine


“”What does it mean if i’m afraid? Does it mean something bad is going to happen?  No, it doesn’t mean something bad is going to happen. It just means that you have the chance to be brave.”
C. JoyBell C.

I was told not long ago that I was brave
…still working on believing and living that

I do want to be

I’ve been hanging on to this verse for quite some time…

Remember that I commanded you to be strong and brave. Don’t be afraid, because the Lord your God will be with you everywhere you go. – Josh 1:9 (NCV)

any strength or courage or boldness
awesomeness or
is only because of Christ.

to have this blog
this place where I can process
to be bold and brave in it
is a way to write my story
to live my life on pages
without reservation
to be broken and vulnerable and unmasked

Only through my/our brokenness and vulnerability can I/we find, examine, and mend the pieces of  myself/ourselves and put them back together whole. – Tammy Strait

may I be brave in this process.

And please pray for me. Pray that truth will be with me before I even open my mouth. Ask the Spirit to guide me while I boldly defend the mystery that is the good news—so pray that I can bravely pronounce the truth, as I should do. – Ephesians 6:19-20 (the Voice)

Maybe there’s a way out of the cage where you live
Maybe one of these days you can let the light in
Show me how big your brave is

Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out – Sara Bareilles, Brave

awesome grace…spelled b-r-a-v-e

dance with the limp

Eugene Delacroix

Eugene Delacroix

Jacob wrestling with the angel….
or is he?

Genesis 32:22-32 lays out the story…


or maybe…

what if…
Jacob was being taught

what if…
Jacob was doing his own steps
stubbornly, hardheadedly, steadfastly…

and God simply wanted him to fall in step with Him
to follow His lead…??

what if…
God is trying
in the midst of my wrestling
for clarity
for purpose
for fulfillment
for a place to belong…
what if He is trying to teach me how to dance?

“We can so easily get lost in the constant demands of life that we develop habits of nonstop busyness and wonder why we feel empty and isolated. We need to develop a dance of life in which we regularly disengage from life as usual and get away with God for rest and renewal. Then we can engage once again in the life and love of God and others. Life in these rhythms becomes a dance with the Trinity—Father, Son and Holy Spirit—along with all of the people around us.” -from “Spiritual Rhythms in Community” by Keith Meyer

in the middle of my wrestling
(which I think is good for me, and necessary for my growth and understanding)
God is teaching me – if I allow that
God is preparing me – if I am open to that
God is guiding me – if I follow Him
God is loving me – if I take time to notice.

“We’re gonna make it. We’re gonna make it. Just keep listening to Me my love…

I’ve got you. It’s okay. Follow Me now. Right leg. Left leg.  I’ve got you. I’ve got you.
It’s okay. I love you. Just keep your eyes on me. Listen only to My voice. Follow me.

I. Love. You.” – Karen Ehman

even when the consequence
of my choices, of me “doing my own thing”
of me not listening
leaves me with a limp…

what if…
God just wants me to dance?

even when I can’t hear the music
or follow the beat
or even know the first thing about moving to the rhythm…

God wants me to dance.
the limp.

Ever patiently accepting me
Lord, You love in spite of everything I do
But oh so faithfully
You’re committed to the process that makes me like You
And I feel like I can dance
Oh You make me want to dance – Just the Way I Am, Big Daddy Weave

dancing because of grace…


for the sake of the call


oh, how I wish “the call” from God would look like this…

as I addressed recently in “off the hook
hearing and answering the call of God on my life hasn’t looked anything like this


questioning what I heard and felt

being humbled
knocked on my hindquarters

I read this quote this morning from Renee Fisher…
“God calls us long before He changes our landscape, position of leadership, or status. It’s during the waiting that we have time to get to know God. It’s in this time we are equipped. We are poured into. We are tested and tried and (hopefully) found ready.”

I am in a place
doing what I think I have been called to do
at this time in my life
and yet
I question.

could it be that this time is for me
to get to know God?
(I obviously need to be equipped)
to be poured into?

I am old enough to remember when Steven Curtis Chapman’s
“For the Sake of the Call”
came out…
and I could sing that with the rest of ’em – ready to abandon it all
wholly devoted to live and to die…

but now, am I in the same head-space, in the same heart-space?

Nobody stood and applauded them
So they knew from the start
This road would not lead to fame
All they really knew for sure was Jesus had called to them
He said “Come follow me” and they came
With reckless abandon they came – For the Sake of the Call

I know that this road will not lead to fame
but honestly, I feel alone
in that I don’t get the applause and approval
I think that I need
(Facebook can be a detriment to me…)
that I flounder in theories
and diagnoses
and techniques
and stories
and trying to listen and remember and be empathic…

is this what I am called to do?
is this my future?
I say “this is what God has called me to”
have I recklessly abandoned it all to be obedient?

have I been courageous?
have I acted even when surrounded by fear?
do I have the courage to be who I am?
do I know who I am?

so many questions…

“God calls us long before He changes our landscape, position of leadership, or status. It’s during the waiting that we have time to get to know God. It’s in this time we are equipped. We are poured into. We are tested and tried and (hopefully) found ready.” – Renee Fisher

but for now…


trusting in grace…

earlier bits

May 2014