off the hook

ringing-phonecan somebody answer that??

you did.

you answered “the call”

the plan for your life has been laid out…
maybe it looks a little like this:
graduate high school
go to college
graduate with a fabulous degree that you will of course use for good – to honor God
meet your mate
get married
be in ministry somewhere
have kids
be successful and make a difference in so many lives
be content

your life really looks like this:
graduate high school
go to college
graduate, with that degree that you just know God “called” you to get
be in ministry, making a difference
(this is where things get convoluted)
you get asked to leave ministry
you end up buying a restaurant
a car accident changes your life forever – coma, rehab, never the same
you close the business
file bankruptcy
working for just above minimum wage…at “just a job”
and then….
your mom dies.

grief sends you to counseling…and the effects of “the call” are hashed out
a brighter future emerges
you don’t feel stuck
a dream is unearthed…
and you find yourself submerged in graduate studies

what you had been searching for for so long, has been found
or maybe it is has found you
it’s been a long, long journey to get here

so, where you wrong two decades ago?
did you hear God’s call incorrectly?

wasn’t it clear?

is the phone off the hook?

“so often we see our calling as something we are meant to do, when really it is something we are meant to be.  God may have seemingly random assignments for us to do.  they are only going to make sense from the person He’s made you to be.” – from This Is Our Time, a movie

two decades of seemingly random assignments
two decades of growing
and stumbling
and gaining strength
and questioning
and figuring out who God has made me to be.

the future is bright.
the future is not necessarily clear to me, but I am on the right path.

“brring  – brring”
are you going to answer that…the call is for you.

what is God asking you/me to be?
clearly grace…

potential limitations

photo from

photo from

“Until you spread your wings….
you’ll have no idea how far you can walk.” – unknown

ever feel that way?
you spread your wings…waiting for that lift of air to carry you to places you could never imagine…
and then
you simply put one foot in front of the other
and walk.

maybe the proverbial door was closed
maybe you closed it
maybe you were distracted by all of the “I can’ts”
and found it simpler and easier to just walk

(I wrote that last sentence channeling my inner Eeyore…so you must read it that way, too)

so, what is holding you back?

is it actually the lack of lift in the air?
is it the lack of air?

is it that you are focused on the closed door
or the things you can’t do
or the possibilities that aren’t in focus?



It turns out when you feel lowest, you may actually be higher than you can even know.

From that unexpected place, you’ll be able to see what true success means.  

Feel it.

Know it.

Reach out and touch its nail-scarred hands.  

Don’t give up. Or give in. Or compromise. Or quit.  

You’re going to make it.

And it’s going to make you…

not into a fool,

not into a failure,

but into a victorious follower.  – Holley Gerth



I have had experiences in that “unexpected place” lately…
starting grad school
starting a second job
finding (or at least trying to find) balance

it’s true…
I have felt accomplished
seen the light at the end of the tunnel and have known it isn’t a train
been invigorated, and weary, and overwhelmed by learning and earning
and I know that this is where I am to be
right here
right now

I truly am spreading my wings…
and taking one step at a time.

the things that I once held so tightly to that I thought were limitations,
are no longer
my mind is being transformed….to see things from a different perspective
my heart is being changed….to know the possibilities that await me

limitless grace…

earlier bits

October 2013
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