come alive

to be alive…dry bones
awake…
breathing…
present…

not being dead…
lifeless
absent

do you remember a time when you….well, when you felt alive?
and no, I don’t mean living and breathing with brain function
I mean alive…truly alive?

honestly….I live most of my days…simply live.
function maybe is a better description
go through the motions
operate under the same demands and guidelines day after day
but….
recently I have had a taste
just a morsel
of what it means to be alive!
to have definite purpose
to see a light at the end of the tunnel, and not assume it is a train coming straight for me!
to not feel stuck…
I saw hope.

although I still have that hope, the brightness and shininess has diminished a little
simply because I have to wait
in anticipation
with purpose
with patience…

these last few months have stretched my faith
my desire
my emotional fortitude
beyond my self-inflicted limits

I have (and am still) wrestled with God
I have questioned (and still am)
I have neglected, if you will, God lately…
o, I still know that He is here beside me
but I have taken that relationship for granted
I have been living with God
but not alive in Christ and living life to the full
make sense??

dry bones.
yep.

Dry bones, I will breathe breath into you, and you will come alive. – Ezekiel 37:5 (the Voice)

restoration.
new life.

I am yearning for that.
so, what has changed?
I could blame several things…
the death of my mother
the unrealized expectations I have
the seeming halt in my pursuit of a new venture
my own insecurities and feelings of simply not being enough

but

I am sifting through the lies and the truth
what looks to be a simple and easy solution
is anything but
having faith isn’t always as uncomplicated as it seems

underneath it all
all the questions
the self-doubt
the worry
the frustration
…I know God has a purpose and plan
and those are more than just words.

my prayer now is that God, just breathe on me…

grace come alive….

Breathe on me, breath of God, breathe on me
Breathe on me, breath of God, breathe on me
I come alive, I’m alive when you breathe on me
I come alive, I’m alive when you breathe on me

Awake, awake, awake my soul,
God resurrect these bones
From death to life, through you alone
Awake my soul

Speak to me, word of God, speak to me
Speak to me, word of God, speak to me
I come alive, I’m alive when you speak to me
I come alive, I’m alive when you speak to me – Awake My Soul, Chris Tomlin

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earlier bits

August 2013
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