whatever you’re doing

Whatever You’re Doing – Sanctus Real

 

It’s time for healing time to move on
It’s time to fix what’s been broken too long
Time to make right what has been wrong
It’s time to find my way to where I belong
There’s a wave that’s crashing over me
And all I can do is surrender

Whatever You’re doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but somehow there’s peace
It’s hard to surrender to what I can’t see
but I’m giving in to something Heavenly

Time for a milestone
Time to begin again
Reevaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow Your will
Or just climbing aimlessly over these hills
So show me what it is You want from me
I give everything I surrender…
To…

Whatever You’re doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but somehow there’s peace
It’s hard to surrender to what I can’t see
but I’m giving in to something Heavenly
Something Heavenly

Time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
That I’ve wanted to say for so many years
Time to release all my held back tears

Whatever You’re doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but I believe
You’re up to something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly

It’s time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out

grace like chaos…

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rejection

rejected.
ever been there?

rejection
refused
dismissed
passed over
turned down

the questions…
am I not good enough?
is the timing wrong? but then, when will the timing be right?
do I just forget it and give up?
what do I need to change?
am I not cut out for this?

let me set this straight…
I realize that I wasn’t actually rejected from the program at Ashland Theological Seminary.
I still have a chance to get in the program in the fall of 2015.
the program is full for this fall.

but….

it still feels like rejection.

every job I apply for and don’t get….feels like rejection
every man who doesn’t respond to my attempt at contact…..feels like rejection
loneliness….feels like rejection

rejection is not a good feeling.

are my standards too high?
when the pieces seemingly fit together, is that too good to be true?

am I just so mixed up that I will never be able to help someone else?

for once, I am entertaining this feeling
and not rejecting it
not to dwell here, but to address it
confront it
deal with it
and find a way to move on from it

….I am not there yet.

Jesus come and break my fear
Wake my heart and take my tears
And find Your glory even here – Hurt and the Healer, Mercy Me

embracing grace…

come alive

to be alive…dry bones
awake…
breathing…
present…

not being dead…
lifeless
absent

do you remember a time when you….well, when you felt alive?
and no, I don’t mean living and breathing with brain function
I mean alive…truly alive?

honestly….I live most of my days…simply live.
function maybe is a better description
go through the motions
operate under the same demands and guidelines day after day
but….
recently I have had a taste
just a morsel
of what it means to be alive!
to have definite purpose
to see a light at the end of the tunnel, and not assume it is a train coming straight for me!
to not feel stuck…
I saw hope.

although I still have that hope, the brightness and shininess has diminished a little
simply because I have to wait
in anticipation
with purpose
with patience…

these last few months have stretched my faith
my desire
my emotional fortitude
beyond my self-inflicted limits

I have (and am still) wrestled with God
I have questioned (and still am)
I have neglected, if you will, God lately…
o, I still know that He is here beside me
but I have taken that relationship for granted
I have been living with God
but not alive in Christ and living life to the full
make sense??

dry bones.
yep.

Dry bones, I will breathe breath into you, and you will come alive. – Ezekiel 37:5 (the Voice)

restoration.
new life.

I am yearning for that.
so, what has changed?
I could blame several things…
the death of my mother
the unrealized expectations I have
the seeming halt in my pursuit of a new venture
my own insecurities and feelings of simply not being enough

but

I am sifting through the lies and the truth
what looks to be a simple and easy solution
is anything but
having faith isn’t always as uncomplicated as it seems

underneath it all
all the questions
the self-doubt
the worry
the frustration
…I know God has a purpose and plan
and those are more than just words.

my prayer now is that God, just breathe on me…

grace come alive….

Breathe on me, breath of God, breathe on me
Breathe on me, breath of God, breathe on me
I come alive, I’m alive when you breathe on me
I come alive, I’m alive when you breathe on me

Awake, awake, awake my soul,
God resurrect these bones
From death to life, through you alone
Awake my soul

Speak to me, word of God, speak to me
Speak to me, word of God, speak to me
I come alive, I’m alive when you speak to me
I come alive, I’m alive when you speak to me – Awake My Soul, Chris Tomlin

worthy of affection

Deliverer you brought us out of the miry clay
You set our feet upon a rock and you made us say
Holy is the Lord
We would declare your thoughts about us one by one
It’d be too many to count so we simply come
And sing of your great love

So we sing. We lift our hands and sing!

You are worthy of affection
You’re the radiance of all of His glory
Let adoration fill this place
You hold everything together
By the word of your immovable power
We sing a song of praise!

We are the broken down and we are the beaten up
But what could stop us from a song of unending love?
Holy is the lord

You are a treasure, the hope, the bright and morning star
You are the lover of our soul and you’ve won our hearts
We sing of your great love
So we sing
We lift our hands and sing!

Worthy are you Lord
Worthy are you Lord
O worthy are you Lord
Of all Praise
All Glory to you Lord
All Glory to you Lord
All Glory to you Lord
Forever More
Forever More – by Shane and Shane

 

made for more


more….something greater…beyond….better…exceeding…above and beyond


you
were
made
for
more

ever have that feeling…that you were just made for more than “this” (whatever ‘this’ is in your life)?
I think, if I might add, that this feeling is different from not being content where you are, with what you have.
it is a yearning to be more, to be someone greater than who you are, to do something above and beyond what you’ve always done
to just be more.
maybe this concept is not fully described with words….maybe you indeed have to feel it to know it

but, my friends, we were made for more!
I am not sure what that looks like in your life…
I’m not entirely sure what it looks like in my own

we are not stuckthe Help
we are not meaningless
we are not meant to be small all of the time (k tennant)

you are kind
you are smart
you are important…why do we not believe that about ourselves?
trust God that it is true!

you were made for more.

“Whatever Satan is using to bind you, Jesus came to free you. Free from…and free to. I can’t say that enough. For far too long we’ve looked at freedom only in terms of what we are free from. But freedom encompasses so much more than a shedding of chains. Jesus set us free to live the abundant life by being all He has created us to be and accomplishing all that He has planned for us to do.” – Sharon Jaynes

we are made to be free!

God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us. – Ephesians 3:20 (MSG)

“I was made for more than being stuck in a vicious cycle of defeat.  I am not made to be a victim of my poor choices.  I was made to be a victorious child of God.” – Lysa Terkeurst

we are not made
to wallow in self-pity
to allow our past choices to paralyze us – emotionally, spiritually, or physically

our lives, more importantly, our relationship with Christ “…can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.” – Soren Kierkegaard

you were made for more
I am made for more

so, now what?
take that step…
make that phone call
fill out that application
read that book
search for that job
do the thing that scares you

So what are you waiting for? What do you have to lose?
Your insecurities,  they try to hold to you
But you know you’re made for more, so don’t be afraid  to move –
Britt Nicole, Walk on the Water

 

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Eternal, “plans for peace, not evil, to give you a future and hope—never forget that. – Jeremiah 29:11 (the Voice)

 

learning the unforced rhythms of grace….

earlier bits

August 2013
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