God’s poem

I wonder if God’s form of poetry would be Haiku….to capture a poignant moment

to the point
no frills

have you ever stopped to think that we are God’s poetry?
a lot of times, Ephesians 2:10 is read and we just hear “workmanship” or “work of His hand”….but we are God’s poem (Jennifer Spinola, Southern Fried Sushi)
or as the Voice says:
For we are the product of His hand, heaven’s poetry etched on lives

we are just cracked and chipped pots of clay…pottery
His poetry…
His masterpiece.

figuratively speaking,
I think God wrote a Haiku about that
wanna hear it?

the Potter throws the clay
twisting develops beauty
shaped formed fired useful

simple…no frills…poignant

being shaped by grace…


here’s your sign

We were in the park…flying a kite and a guy walks up and says “You flying a
kite?”…”Nope, we’re fishing for birds.” Here’s your sign!

I stayed back late at work one afternoon last week and I had a co-worker looked
at me and said “are you still here ??” I said no, I left 10 minutes ago …
Here’s your sign !!

Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those side-of-the-road gas stations.
The attendant walks out, looks at my truck, looks at me, and I SWEAR he said, “Tire go flat?”
I couldn’t resist. said, “Nope. I was driving around and those other three just swelled right up on me.
Here’s your sign.”
  – jokes based on comedy by Bill Engvall
although I do indeed find great humor in jokes such as this…there is an underlying sense of, let me say, ‘stupidity’ that goes along with them.
or to be PC…lack of wisdom.

but then I wonder, how many times have I needed a sign?
how many times have I stated the obvious, only to be amazed at the answer or result?

God must laugh every time I open my mouth…especially when I think something wise and profound will come out.
instead, I have a “here’s your sign” moment.

but, how many times, do I crave, or at least think that I need a sign?
is it because I am not sure God is really there or listening?
have I lost all hope?
am I at the end of everything I know to be true?
do I not see the light at the end of the tunnel?
do I not trust that God’s got this?

yep.  I need a sign.

this morning, I think I was up before the chickens.  I was with my dad on the way to the hospital to get a test done.
it was a pretty significant test….at least to me.
he’s had a mass in his colon for almost a year.  the test was to see what needs to be done now.  truly,  what a difference a day makes.
yesterday, the reality of it all hit me…
here we go again…the summer of hospitals, of tests, of uncertainty, of putting my life on hold (yes, I know that is a selfish thought)…the numbness of it all

I can say the words, “I trust you” to God, but do I really?
do I hide behind my ‘spirituality’ in order to not be authentic with God or myself that there are times when I am not sure I do trust Him?
will I get struck by lightning right here as I type that??

I had a pretty sleepless night…
worry? probably.
confusion? definitely.
feeling sorry for myself? yep.

but, I woke up this morning…and told God that I really didn’t have a clue what was going to happen today.  but, I couldn’t worry about it.
(at least, I would try not to)
I went today, not knowing if the mass was still there (I thought for sure that it would be gone – that its purpose was to point out the problem with my dad’s heart) and knowing that God would be in the middle of everything that happened…

and…there it was
in the clouds…
nestled sweetly in the middle of the puffy white billowing clouds….rainbow cloud2
a rainbow.

there was my sign.
a promise from God.

unknowingly, my friend commented to me that “God’s promises still bring true.”
they still do bring true…

promises to…never leave or desert me…to give me hope, and a future – just to name a couple.

and so, my lack of wisdom and ignorance deserved a sign…
and I got one!

How clearly the sky reveals God’s glory!
How plainly it shows what he has done! – Psalm 19:1 (GNT)

seeing the signs of grace.


how-to-heal-a-broken-heartto heal…that kind of, no certainly, demands a hurt or a pain that needs mended, right?

loss of identity.
open wounds.
sting of words.

needing….restoration, mending, reviving, repairing, soothing

 I’m tired, I’m worn
My heart is heavy
From the work it takes
To keep on  breathing
– Tenth Avenue North

ever been there?
worn…needing redemption
seemingly just trying to breathe.

yeah, me too.

 Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That You can mend  a heart that’s frail and torn
– Tenth Avenue North, Worn

grief….of a mother
loss –  of a “family” that you thought you had, of who you thought you were, of something you may never have, of dreams that may never come true
betrayal…of friends, or of those you thought were friends
pain…of the grief, the loss, the betrayal

a deep need for healing…that maybe you didn’t know existed, until the words were spoken to you – deeper than you realize

a place to heal.

This is where the healing begins
This is where the healing starts
When you come to where you’re broken within
The light meets the dark
– Tenth Avenue North

a safe place.
a sacred place.

a place to get the healing your heart needs.                                               
“restore within me a sense of being brand new”
– Psalm 51:10, The Voice

to be brand new….to experience that healing and learn to live with the scars – that’s where I want to be.

where the hurt and the healing collide….

It’s the moment when humanity
Is overcome by majesty
When grace is ushered in for good
And all the scars are understood
When mercy takes its rightful place
And all these questions fade away – Mercy Me, the Hurt and the Healer

healing takes more than a Band-Aid over your heart, or the “right” words, or the wall to be built higher, or the feelings to be choked

healing takes time.
healing takes just being.
healing takes demolition.
healing takes letting go.
healing takes space.

healing takes grace.




this is a strange word, don’t you think?
but fun, too!

( awry, cockeyed, lopsided, off-center, slanted, topsy-turvey, twisted)

lately, I’ve been convinced that my walk with God has been a little catawampus…a bit askew and off-center.
a little slanted in my direction…make sense?

the year started out as being one of rediscovery….little did I know then, that this would be the path I would be walking.
truly rediscovering, and healing, and finding again…

the process is going to be and has been…painful, intriguing, curious, emotional

although my thoughts and feelings get a little catawampus…the Truth still lives in me

to acknowledge the twisted thoughts and the hurt and the pain
the joys and the sorrows
…all of this has been and will continue to be, and grand indication that I am, in fact, alive

being vulnerable with God is totally worth the risk…
after all, He knows me and is with me…

Your ears will hear sweet words behind you: “Go this way. There is your path; this is how you should go”
whenever you must decide whether to turn to the right or the left.
– Isaiah 30:21 (the Voice)

forever growing in grace…

on being vulnerable

vulnerable – susceptible to being wounded or attackedvulnerable

it’s risky.

seems easier to be closed and guarded, safe and secure

but that’s what happens when we engage others, right?
we risk being hurt, being wounded, being exposed…

I read this today:

“Fear tells me to run away from connection.

Vulnerability dares me to run towards it.” – Emily Freeman


several weeks ago, I would have said that we need connection, we have to risk the rejection and the hurt.

although today I still say we need connection, experience tells me to be careful.
fear does tell me to run away, or at least to not engage.
today, I feel the insecurity and exposure and rawness that vulnerability brings.

today, I am weighing the risks.
does being exposed outweigh the risk of feeling abandoned?
does being open outweigh the risk of feeling shut down and shut out?

in one fell swoop, the risk can be an uncertain venture.

risking grace…

earlier bits

May 2013
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