circle of life

circle of life
cyclical.
all things related to each other.
isn’t that the way life is? this “circle of life” if you will?

more than just life and death.
more than waking up and going to sleep.
more than going to work to make a living and provide.
more than….

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what my heart desires.
what DOES my heart desire?
attention? fame? fortune? happiness? stuff and things?
sure.
I think that more times than not, my heart does desire those things – right or wrong.
but, what. does. my. heart. desire.

love?
acceptance?
to be noticed?
a career?
friendship?
peace?

I was asked the other day if I had any children. when my answer was ‘no’ the next question was ‘do you not want kids?’
I am not sure if I’ve ever been asked that question in those specific words before.
I am not married. no boyfriend. and I keep saying that ‘my eggs have expired’.
is that my way of avoiding question that I don’t have an answer to?
maybe.

is being a mom not a desire of my heart, and therefore not being given to me?
so, if I don’t want it badly enough, then it won’t happen?
really??
that is the way life works?
I don’t think so.

Your heart desires aren’t to be ignored; they’re to be consulted. As winds turn a weather vane, so God uses your passions to turn your life. -Max Lucado
perhaps my personal issues lie in the fact that I am not sure I have any passions. (I say that not to get sympathy)
maybe I don’t.
and this is probably another blog topic for a much later time.

back to the circle of life and the desires of our hearts.

Trust in the Lord and do good;
dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
Take delight in the Lord,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
– Psalm 37:3-4 (NIV)

I think we are often taught that if “our” desires do not happen, then apparently they must not be God’s desires. right?
said or unsaid, I think this has been instilled in us.
or…if nothing is happening in our lives, we must not have any desires.
right?
let’s be honest.

I recently read the quote from Max Lucado regarding our hearts’ desires.
Your heart desires aren’t to be ignored; they’re to be consulted. As winds turn a weather vane, so God uses your passions to turn your life. -Max Lucado

so, let’s unpack this, ok?
God created us. hearts and all.
and when we surrender to Him, we ask Jesus into our hearts. (still with me?)
so Jesus lives in our hearts.
where do our passions flow out of? our hearts, right?
so, if Jesus lives in our heart and our passions originate in our heart, then God knows and is aware of our passions and desires, right?
and as a result of Jesus living in our heart and us surrendering all of us to Him, His heart (because we are ‘one’ with Him) becomes our heart – the same desires and passions.
making sense?
so, what we desire, whether it is being a husband or wife or being a parent, is totally known by God. and He doesn’t ask us to abandon those thoughts, those feelings, those emotions…but rather He uses them to form and shape our lives.
and through that entire process, whether we get what we want or not, there is constant transformation and shaping and growing.

“In their hearts humans plan their course,
but the Lord establishes their steps.”
– Proverbs 16:9 (NIV)

do things always happen the way we have it planned out in our hearts and minds?
uh…no.
but do we believe God is in control or not?
either He is or He isn’t.

when the rotten things happen.
is God in control?
when the good things happen and we are given the things our hearts desire.
is God in control?
when we are filled with uncertainty and doubt.
is God in control?
when the dark days come.
when people continue to let us down.
when we feel stuck.
is God in control?

absolutely.

either we believe that
or we don’t
period.

either I believe that or I don’t.
period.

the circle of life.
love.
faith.
hope.
loving God. His heart becoming our heart. His desire becoming our desires.
having faith – belief without the use of what we can taste, touch, feel, smell, or see – that He’s got this.
advancing in hope – with confident expectation that He will do what He says He will do.

that is our circle of life – with all of the questions and puzzling moments and lack of answers.
He’s got this.

God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us. – Ephesians 3:20-21 (MSG)

grace.

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earlier bits

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