it’s complicated

No…I am not referring to a status update on Facebook.

have you ever been in a situation where things just are…complicated?
perplexing. convoluted. jumbled. muddled. intricate.
ever been there?

I’m not totally convinced that complication is negative or bad or unhealthy all the time.
I am, however, pretty sure that I have complicated situations just by entering into them. I sat that not as a slam to myself, but as an honest revelation.

work.
friendships.
family.
church.

whether it’s a place where your faith and convictions are under a microscope…
or times when your feelings and emotions constantly need defending…
or places and times when simply by being intense, an almost- forty- single- never been married- non mother complicates everything.
(not to mention looking like you’re not even 18 apparently)

maintaining integrity and authenticity as a Jesus follower without getting dragged into the quicksand of negativity and backstabbing
intense….in thinking and in relationships
marital status….feeling ‘ less than’ and having to answer the speculations of my sexuality
not being a mom….*sigh*

complicated.

I show up (literally and figuratively) and complicate things…what do people do with me?
reassure me all the time? well, that’s exhausting.
coddle me? no thank you! that’s annoying.
love me? that’s complicated.

as this new year gets underway, I am looking forward to getting untangled.

grace.

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