spam

spamI remember Spam.  fried spam.  spam sandwiches with mustard…really. i ate it.  weird, i know.

but lately, i’ve been thinking about things.  and today, i checked my e-mail, and there were messages in this folder named “spam”.

spam – disruptive messages…

and that is exactly what they are – disruptive…to my thoughts, to my convictions, to the very core of who i am.  vulgar. junk.  needing to be emptied.

then, i started thinking of the ‘spam’ that i allow to pass through to my own personal inbox, to my heart and mind.
the junk. the negativity. the lies. the things that chip away at who i am.
the building blocks for the walls that i build.  the walls that keep people (and God) out, and me in – a place where i think it’s safe. inside. with my own thoughts, insecurities, and the “noise” of those things.

questions plague me….
why the senseless events of late in this country?
spam.
what can i do to stop my friends from deep, tragic pain?
spam.
how can the things that you believe are so true and so real turn out so drastically different and carry so much devastation?
spam…disruptive.
this…this is my life?
spam.

my personal ‘inbox’ has been pretty empty lately.
my fault.
the good i know i need to do, i haven’t been doing…i’ve been avoiding actually.
my life, as of late, has been spam filled.

i have neglected to invest in my spam guard and spam blocker.
i know that Jesus is the only one whose voice i need to listen to. i know His voice. and when i do not invest daily, moment by moment, in Him….spam!

with the new year dawning…it is a good time for me to re-evaluate my life.
to rediscover who i am.

spam blocker.
spam guard.
spam filter.

here’s to a new year….spam-free!

grace.

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earlier bits

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