i can’t handle the truth

 suppress – to restrain, hold in check

abolish, annihilate, beat down, bottle, bring to naught, burke, censor, check, clamp, conceal, conquer, contain, cover up, crack down on, crush, curb, cut off, extinguish, hold back, hold down, hold in, interrupt, keep in, keep secret, muffle, muzzle, overcome, overpower, overthrow, put an end to, put down, put kibosh on, put lid on, quash, quell, quench, repress, shush, silence, sit on, smother, snuff out, spike, squash, stamp out, stifle, stop, subdue, trample, withhold

For God’s [holy] wrath and indignation are revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who in their wickedness repress and hinder the truth and make it inoperative. – Romans 1:18 (AMP)

lots of words.  what do they mean?  how do they apply to me today?
how could God separate himself from me (wrath)? …ungodliness
how could i possibly be unrighteous? (act to hold truth from my spirit)
what do i do that is wicked? (depravity – unapproved – things not in agreement with God’s will)
how do i hinder,suppress, the truth?

when i hinder or suppress the truth, (check out the synonyms), something or someone has to replace it, right?

if i try to cover up the fact that God loves me, i cover it up with lies.

  • i am not worthy of love.  look at all that I have done!  look at me…  no one really cares.

what then fills that empty space?
listening and believing the lies that Satan tells me.  doing, doing, doing things that God might see as acceptable, and therefore would accept and love me.  over-zealousness in friendships.  negative self-talk.  self-doubt.

and what are those things??  nothing – they are nothing.  they become things and thoughts that replace God and the true knowledge of God and become things that i end up ‘worshipping’.

i can’t handle the truth about God, that He does in fact love me, and so i exchange that for a lie, many lies, that accommodate my actions.
i have to be something more than i already am.
Satan twists the truth to make his way of thinking believable at times.   ever happen to you?

but, what rings true and clear in the Voice of Truth? (if we allow Him to be heard above the ‘nothingness’?)

i am holy and dearly loved – cherished by God – created to do great things for Him – i am never alone…
(the list goes on and on..)

the choice is mine to make.  am i going to listen to the truth, and not hold it back, or am i going to fill that space with lies?
am i going to listen to the Voice of Truth for the truth about who i am?

 

seeking grace.

earlier bits

May 2012
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