i can’t handle the truth

 suppress – to restrain, hold in check

abolish, annihilate, beat down, bottle, bring to naught, burke, censor, check, clamp, conceal, conquer, contain, cover up, crack down on, crush, curb, cut off, extinguish, hold back, hold down, hold in, interrupt, keep in, keep secret, muffle, muzzle, overcome, overpower, overthrow, put an end to, put down, put kibosh on, put lid on, quash, quell, quench, repress, shush, silence, sit on, smother, snuff out, spike, squash, stamp out, stifle, stop, subdue, trample, withhold

For God’s [holy] wrath and indignation are revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who in their wickedness repress and hinder the truth and make it inoperative. – Romans 1:18 (AMP)

lots of words.  what do they mean?  how do they apply to me today?
how could God separate himself from me (wrath)? …ungodliness
how could i possibly be unrighteous? (act to hold truth from my spirit)
what do i do that is wicked? (depravity – unapproved – things not in agreement with God’s will)
how do i hinder,suppress, the truth?

when i hinder or suppress the truth, (check out the synonyms), something or someone has to replace it, right?

if i try to cover up the fact that God loves me, i cover it up with lies.

  • i am not worthy of love.  look at all that I have done!  look at me…  no one really cares.

what then fills that empty space?
listening and believing the lies that Satan tells me.  doing, doing, doing things that God might see as acceptable, and therefore would accept and love me.  over-zealousness in friendships.  negative self-talk.  self-doubt.

and what are those things??  nothing – they are nothing.  they become things and thoughts that replace God and the true knowledge of God and become things that i end up ‘worshipping’.

i can’t handle the truth about God, that He does in fact love me, and so i exchange that for a lie, many lies, that accommodate my actions.
i have to be something more than i already am.
Satan twists the truth to make his way of thinking believable at times.   ever happen to you?

but, what rings true and clear in the Voice of Truth? (if we allow Him to be heard above the ‘nothingness’?)

i am holy and dearly loved – cherished by God – created to do great things for Him – i am never alone…
(the list goes on and on..)

the choice is mine to make.  am i going to listen to the truth, and not hold it back, or am i going to fill that space with lies?
am i going to listen to the Voice of Truth for the truth about who i am?


seeking grace.

shepherd’s tree

dry.  rocky, rough terrain.  seemingly endless.  miles and miles and miles….

thirst.  in need of shade.  a place to rest.  relief.

there.  within reach.  comfort.  respite.  a time-out.

I will satisfy those who are weary, and I will refresh every soul in the grips of sorrow. – Jeremiah 31:25 (the Voice)

to be refreshed.  to replenish.  to gain strength.

Come to Me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. – Matthew 11:28 (the Voice)


“Bring Me your mind for rest and renewal.  Let Me infuse My Presence into your thoughts.
As your mind stops racing, your body relaxes and you regain awareness of Me.” – Jesus Calling, Sarah Young

refreshing, relief, renewal, comfort…all within reach.

Just as the shepherd’s tree provides relief for the shepherds in the deserts of Africa, so Jesus, our Shepherd, infuses His Presence into our lives.
Oh, how we need Him…how I need Him.

seeking grace…

oh snap!


Ever have one of those days? weeks? months? years?
so many things.  so many people.  such a sense of responsibility and commitment.
go here.  go there.
do this.  do that.
act like this.  don’t say that.
hold it all together.  don’t crumble under the pressure.

yep, friends….i’m there.

just like that twig…i may indeed snap.

seeking grace.

busted heart

  • Winter has come back again
  • Feels like the season won’t end
  • My faith is dying tonight
  • And I won’t try to pretend
  • I’ve got it all figured out
  • I don’t have any doubts
  • I’ve got a busted heart
  • I need You now
  • Yeah, I need You now




So, what’s playing on your iPod or MP3 player?  Do you have a favorite album, or artist?
I usually only use my MP3 player when I go for a walk, and I have been doing that this week, so I have become re-acquainted with my playlist.

I have a variety of artists on mine…

Michael W. Smith “Strings of Worship”
Vanessa Mae
Caedmon’s Call
Chris Tomlin
Yo-Yo Ma
and several others.

I love that I hear exactly what I need to at each moment I turn it on.
Be Thou My Vision” by Ginny Owens, and “I Need You” by the Swift were my songs on Tuesday, and last evening it was “Friend of a Wounded Heart” by Avalon and “Great and Mighty” by Caedmon’s Call.

Have you ever wondered, or even thought about, what is on God’s playlist?
What does he listen to?
Maybe Bill Gaither, or Kutless, or Chis Tomlin, or NEEDTOBREATHE, or David Phelps, or ….
but, I wonder if I am on his playlist?

Now, I don’t sing, but I wonder if my ponderings, or my frustrations, or my requests, or my silence….are on His playlist?
Does He play ‘me’ over and over?  Does His heart break when He listens to me?  Does He cry?  Does He yearn and long to hear my praise and thanks?

And, do I have a constant ‘playlist’ of God in my head and heart?  His promises, His love, His reassurances…
or, do I have my own playlist of my frustrations, my disappointments, my selfishness, my sins, constantly playing on shuffle?


“My intentions are not always yours, and I do not go about things as you do.” – Isaiah 55:8 (the Voice) says the Lord.

Hear my prayer, O God; let the words of my mouth reach Your sympathetic ear. – Psalm 54:2 (the Voice)

Although I know God is always listening to me, are my thoughts and utterances always bringing the attention to Him and what He has done in my life, or are they drawing the attention and focus on myself?
Do I have God’s promises to me on constant repeat or even have a playlist with God on it?
So, my question to you is, ‘what’s on your playlist’?


fight, flee, or freeze

You will not leave in a hurry, running for your lives. For the Lord will go ahead of you; yes, the God of Israel will protect you from behind. – Isaiah 52:12 (NLT)

Have you ever been a position where you can:  fight – defend, stand up for; flee – turn and run, escape; or freeze – paralysis?
What is your natural tendency?
For me, I tend to flee or freeze.  Get me out of here, or hide me.

The “fight or flight response” is our body’s primitive, automatic, inborn response that prepares the body to “fight” or “flee” from perceived attack, harm or threat to our survival – Wikipedia

I want to get the heck out of Dodge, or cower and hide.  That sure doesn’t sound like a godly thing to do, does it?  Probably not, but it is an honest response and reaction from me.
I know that I am to don the armor of God and simply stand.  Stand.  not sit, not turn and run (my backside would not be covered), not curl up in a ball. Stand.

When it is all over, you will still be standing.  So stand up and do not be moved. – Ephesians 6:13-14 (NLV)

So, I guess I need to get up from my seated, indignant, self-righteous position…clothe myself in God, all of Him…and simply stand; be still and know that He is God.
….that dark corner sure looks welcoming…


love is making a way

Love is making a way, breaking my chains
Healing what was broken
Hope is coming alive in this heart of mine
This heart that you have stolen – Sixteen Cities

(the video is super cool)!



smell the color 9

Cause I can sniff, I can see, and I can count up pretty high;
but these faculties aren’t getting me any closer to the sky,
 but my heart of faith keeps poundin’ so I know I’m doin’ fine
 but sometimes findin you is just like tryin to smell the color nine.
Smell the color nine…

These lyrics, by Chris Rice, are very intriguing to me.  Sometimes, as I look for God – for Him in things or just in my own day-to-day stuff, it truly is like trying to smell the color nine.

Nine’s not a color… and if even if it were you can’t smell a color,no that’s my point exactly.

Do I make life harder than it is?  Sometimes, by my thoughts, my actions, my insecurities (which are many), my ponderings…

It all comes down to faith – belief without the use of our senses – in God.
He is available, approachable, and unavoidable…and yet unseen, untouchable, un-smellable, un-tastable…
Isn’t the thought of Him just amazing?
We don’t see Him or touch Him, but we see the effects of Him everywhere…in other people (that’s why we are the only Jesus some will ever see), in the way He works through situations, His aroma, tasting and seeing that He is indeed good…

And yet, with all of this knowledge, I still think that finding Him is like trying to smell the color 9…

Nine’s not a color… and if even if it were you can’t smell a color,no that’s my point exactly.




Check out Does The “Golden Rule” Trump God’s Word?

Check out Does The “Golden Rule” Trump God’s Word?

i’m glad Jesus is not a hoarder…or is He?

A post from a close friend of mine caused a good, yet brief, discussion on the issue of hoarding.  Have you ever discussed hoarding with anyone?  Well, let me be the first to tell you that there are a various opinions concerning this.  Amazing really.
There are several schools of thought regarding hoarding, and also regarding the television show that chronicles this disorder.  I will refrain from tackling this issue, as it portrayed, and as we tend to think of it.

My recent discussion got my mind churning and thinking about Jesus – is Jesus a hoarder?
Intriguing thought?  I think so.

hoard =a supply or accumulation that is hidden or carefully guarded for preservation, future use, etc.

Squirrels and hamsters tend to hoard food.  We humans have a tendency to hoard ‘stuff’.  But, what about Jesus?
Help me unpack this idea, will you?

First of all, my original title of this post was ‘i’m glad Jesus is not a hoarder’.  I originally began thinking of this in regards to my sin.
He DOES NOT accumulate my sins for future use.  I am so grateful for that!

You see, God takes all our crimes – our seemingly inexhaustible sins – and removes them.
As far as east is from the west, He removes them from us. – Psalm 103:12 (the Voice)

They are gone!  Not only are they removed, they are out of my reach!  They are removed from ME.
That, my friends, is a wonderfully reassuring thought.
Jesus is not a hoarder…of my sins.

But, does He hoard His disciples, those who are fully devoted followers of Him?  According to the above definition, could we not be hoarded by Jesus?  Carefully guarded…
Maybe this is a stretch, but it just may be plausible.

Look here.  I have made you a part of Me, written you on the palms of My hands. – Isaiah 49:16 (the Voice)

Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.  – Isaiah 43:1

In your unfailing love preserve my life, that I may obey the statutes of your mouth. – Psalm 119:88

Though I walk   in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life. You stretch out your hand against the anger of my foes; with your right hand 
you save me.  The Lord will vindicate me; your love, Lord, endures forever — do not abandon the works of your hands. – Psalm 138:7-8

For we are the product of His hand, heaven’s poetry etched on lives, created in the Anointed, Jesus, to accomplish the good works God arranged long ago. – Ephesians 2:10 (the Voice)

Interesting, don’t you think?
Although we definitely have the choice to be followers of Jesus, He consumes us when we do make that choice.   He absolutely finds value in us.  He does not want to part with us.  We were created to accomplish great things!

Let me throw another piece of laundry in this suitcase we are unpacking.  Do we hoard Jesus?  Do we think that we have some kind of monopoly in Him, and we choose to keep Him to ourselves and not share Him with the lost and dying?   Or do we hoard Him for our own future use…we do what we want when we want, knowing that He is safely preserved on a shelf for the perfect time when we need Him?

Before all of these thoughts get too muddled, let me just leave you with the original question/statement.

I’m glad Jesus is not a hoarder….or is He?
You decide.


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